Straight Is Crooked As A Barrel Of Snakes

Chris Poole
Springfield,Virginia Straight
February 7,1985 to July 1986

During the nightmare years from 1976 to 1993 when the cancer of Straight Incorporated was infecting America, one family at a time, the word ”copout” was one of Straight`s catchy cult words.

Consider the following 4 examples.

1) In the real World whenever a convict busts out of Prison you never hear anyone say, “Convicted murderer Herb Reckwall “copped out” from “St.Louie`s Prison” last night.”

2) In America, anytime a teenager runs away from home you never hear the parents tell the Police, “Our son Tom “copped out” on us sometime during the night and we are just sick to death with worry.”

3) You don`t ever hear a woman say, “My husband copped out on me and ran off with another woman.”

4) If a pet runs away from it`s home you never hear someone claim the animal copped out on it`s owner.

Normal people living in reality in the real World don`t pollute or pepper their vocabulary with these strange,alien and unusual words that always runs rampant, deep inside the wacky rabbit hole of Straight Incorporated.

From examining Straight`s evil playbook of blue smoke and mirrors, I have uncovered some startling reasons why Straight called people “copouts.”

1. The evolution rejects at Straight came up with the slick, slang term “copout” to mark and stigmatize all escapees as if they were livestock out on the range being branded by cowboys with scalding hot fire irons. Straight deliberately did this to dupe and throw sand in the eyes of people into incorrectly thinking and wrongly concluding that the teenager committed a shameful and damning act by leaving Straight. By calling someone a “copout,” Straight both deceives and misleads people into thinking the teenager is bad person who did a dishonest and terrible thing. Straight wouldn`t ever dare to speak the English Language by simply saying the teenager ”escaped” or “ran away” because if Straight did that they would be “humanizing” and “normalizing” what the person actually did.

2. Branding someone a “copout” is Straight`s underhanded way of ”ostracizing” the individual who escaped from the “Devil`s Whorehouse.” Shamelessly slapping this label on the escapee was Straight`s way of ”stereotyping” and “isolating” the person from all the other people who didn`t escape from Straight.

3. By calling someone a “copout” Straight is officially drawing the line in the sand by branding this person as the enemy of their biological family and also the enemy of the Straight cult. (The amazingly, ironic thing here is that the person who copped out is the one who officially drew the line in the sand first and proudly branded themselves an enemy of Straight, first.)

However a copout returns back (for the ones who had the awful misfortune of returning back to Straight,) the crazy routine usually goes something like this. The split second the copout sets foot back into the toxic Straight building, the rude awakening and tragic return to first phase instantly begins again. The Freedom the copout had gained from the copout is now over and gone like tears in the rain. The person is treated like a career criminal by being immediately beltlooped by one of the cult members and instantly shuttled away to the closest intake room. The copout has to painfully endure a “re-intake” where the person is holed up inside a stuffy intake room for up to 10 hours or longer with brainwashed oldcomers. The same washed and uneducated oldcomers who have no life and who have nothing better to do with their time and who will do anything to get out of group. Early in the morning a washed staff member walks up behind the back of group asking what oldcomers want to do a “re-intake” and all these arms frantically fly up in the air in unison. The oldcomers don`t want to spend another boring day in group forever flapping their arms in the air in raps all day long like a bunch of wild banshees on amphetamines. The oldcomers always jump at any chance to get out of group no matter what they are told to do. Group is never a fun place to be 365 days a year. So, Staff selects 2 to 3 of these idiots and off they go for this mysterious thing called ”re-intake.” They are so badly brainwashed that the nutty idea of spending all day long in a 10 x 10 intake room actually appeals to them for some weird reason. For the copout it was bad enough being forced to go through this “intake” nonsense the first time around on day one. Now history is sadly repeating itself. With the “re-intake” the poisonous, indoctrination process has begun all over again as the copout is forcefed endless, mind numbing Straight propaganda all day long and into the night. More toxic then any drug on the Planet. The oldcomers are sweating you down hour after hour. The oldcomers ask these unoriginal and boring questions because they don`t know anything else except a bunch of worthless Straight propaganda. Why did you copout? What drugs did you do? What else did you do during your copout? How do you feel? No peace and quiet at all because someone is always talking throughout the re-intake. Nosey staff members come in and out of the intake room because they want to get into your business. Adding even more misery to the situation, all day long, hour after hour, the copout is dreading being re-introduced back to the group after the re-intake is over with. That feeling of impending doom dominates the persons emotional landscape throughout the day. The “forever in a day” long hellish “re-intake” finally almost ends. The copout is beltlooped and marched from the intake room to the pristine staff bathroom to be humiliatingly strip searched and then taken to face all the psychopaths in group. (The phasers bathroom is a dive and a “hole in the wall” compared to the staff bathroom.) The copout already knows long in advance, all to well, exactly what is going to happen because she/he has seen this freak show unfold countless times before by seeing how badly the copouts are treated everytime they are “re-introduced” to the grotesque group. For the copout that walk into group has to be one of the longest walks of their entire life.The jackass oldcomers are so hungry for attention they always make sure they are with the staff member and the copout at all times so they can be visually recognized by everyone in group as having done the person`s “re-intake.” The idiot oldcomers involved in the “re-intake” feel this absurd sense of accomplishment even though they haven`t done anything positive or constructive all day long. They haven’t done anything close to deserving positive recognition. It`s pathetic! The washed staffer leading the rap instructs everyone to turn and look to the back of group.The grandstanding bell is sounded loudly (similar to a boxing bell being rung) as the staff member sarcastically says, ” Who remembers __________________!!!??? All the hands in group go up as fast as possible. The staff members parades and trots the copout out in front of the guys side and the girls side.The staff member starts badmouthing the copout in addition to giving the laundry list of drugs the person did. (Then there were all the times when copouts didn`t do drugs or alcohol during their escape.) If the person didn`t do drink or do drugs the staff member badmouths them anyway. The copout is always portrayed in the most negative light possible, regardless of what they did or didn`t do during their escape. Staff then eggs on the circus freaks in group even more by saying, “How do you all feel about this? What do you all want to say to this person? Every nutcase in group starts motivating super fast in a lathered up feeding frenzy. Everyone in group wants to rip the copout to bloody shreds. All the sharks are in the water circling the copout and howling for blood. All the loud chair sounds and motivating sounds filling the air. One psycho phaser after another is called on by a staff who then yells,screams,berates,mocks,attacks, confronts, hollers,freaks out at the copout like there is no tomorrow. Over and over and over again. And let us not forget one of Straight`s favorite tricks of the trade from their evil goodie bag of human rights abuses where the psycho, braindead phaser gets right up in the copouts face and screams full blast while repeatedly stabbing his finger in the persons chest which results in the persons ears hurting like Hell for hours and their face is covered in saliva. The copout is viewed as an enemy of the people. All this insane behavior never once accomplished anything positive. All this abuse ever did was fill the person with more negative emotions and hate Straight even more. It confirmed and reaffirmed that the person made the right decision by copping out in the first place. Not only that but it furthur strengthens and emboldened to person to copout all over again (which countless people did.) The copout is the only sane and normal person in the building. Sending a copout back to Straight is like sending Albert Einstein to the Planet of the Apes.There is never a good time to experience this nightmare from Hell.The very worst possible time for a copout to be reintroduced back into the crazy group is during a “Review” when everyone in the “group machine” is already wired up,cranked up and wound up to the ultimate maximum like a pack of starving wolves and bloodthirsty sharks in the water screaming out loud, ready to take no prisoners and to devour their prey in record time. One of the reasons this particular sick tradition aka “rite of passage” was constantly continued and carried out was because Straight wanted to scare the Hell out of everyone in group so they wouldn`t copout themselves. Straight used this sick behavior to discourage everyone in group in advance from ever trying to escape from the Straight cult. Straight wanted to send a psychological message that if anyone ever copped out this is what would happen to them when they returned back. The Ninyhammer staff member officially starts the person over and the person is put on front row. (This was always a ridiculous rite of passage because the person already knew they were started over at the very second they first copped out, DUH. ) At some point later that night staff yells out the brand new foster home that the copout is going to be a prisoner at. The copouts then have to go through the insanity of first phase all over again in addition to being stood up in those painfully long Friday night Open meetings and be talked down to by their washed parents and siblings.


Straight Incorporated always meant and intended for the word “copout” to always be used as a very negative thing. As usual, everything Straight ever told us and “reality” are as different as night and day. I totally disagree with Straight 1000% because I consider the word “copout” to be a very positive thing. Not only is the glass half full but the glass is completely full and overflowing when it comes to the word “copout” and this is a great thing. It`s a Badge of Honor. It`s a very exclusive club to be a member of. The act of copping out requires,shows and exemplifies backbone, tenacity, gallantry, boldness, balls, bravery, courage, chivalry, daring, determination, creativity,fearlessness, fortitude, grit, guts, heart, independence, heroism, enterprise, mettle, moxie, nerve, bottle, prowess, spirit, spunk and valor (among other positive things.) Every single person who ever copped out from Straight took all of these qualities to supersonic new levels and beyond. All the copout stories we read about prove this again and again and again. From 1976 to 1993 the ”copouts” were treated like garbage and subhumans inside the warped world and distorted looking glass of Straight Incorporated. It`s a bloody outrage. Fortunately the tide of public opinion is already overwhelmingly positive in favor of all the copouts. These days there is a completely different view and verdict of copouts that is 180 degrees the opposite of Straight`s outdated (and inaccurate) propaganda spin about copouts.The Sun of History Shines very brightly and positively on all the copouts. The verdict of History not only has completely vindicated all the copouts but History will regard all the copouts as some of the bravest and courageous people we have ever met in our lives. Read all the copout stories because they prove and confirm all of the positive things I`ve ever said about copouts to be True!

Copping out is always a very difficult thing to pull off for a number of reasons because that the copout is playing against a stacked deck. A stacked deck from a House of Cards that is rigged long in advance. Straight was always “crooked as a barrel of snakes.” *Jackie Brown movie quote* Through constant and unrelenting brainwashing tactics,Straight has already turned the family against him/her long before the person ever copped out. Once the person has copped out, the washed Straight staff members shamelessly shifts into overdrive and works overtime by constantly pressuring the copout`s family to stay with the Straight cult by taking the “iron hand” and so called “tough love approach” to have the teenager illegally kidnapped right off the streets and returned back to Straight and to force the kid to finish the Straight program. If the family stays in Straight this will ensure the family`s money will continue to flow into Straight. Straight never met a bank account that it didn`t like. Straight notoriously split up families all the time from 1976 to 1993. The odds are against the copout as she/he struggles to make the very best of the escape situation. Most people will never understand or appreciate the amount of energy and stress that a person constantly experiences when copping out.The copout is low on important resources such as money,food,shelter,non-washed friends and transportation. The copout is extremely low on these vital things or doesn`t have any of these important resources at all. Plus the copout has to constantly evade capture by the Police, washed Straight parents, power hungry staff members, siblings, phasers and misinformed friends of the family who are all bound and determined to illegally capture return the copout back to Straight by any means necessary.The copouts are very street smart and endlessly resourceful people. They are extremely intelligent overachievers who endlessly fascinate me.They rolled the dice and risked everything in the grim face of overwhelming odds against them and they came out a winner every single time. It takes balls of steel to copout from Straight.

Every single time someone copped out it was a victory for the copout and a defeat for Straight. If you ever copped out from Straight and you returned back to Straight at some point later on it doesn`t change the fact that your copout was a smashing success. Your copout was a complete 1000% shining success regardless of whether you returned back to Straight or not! Never forget this. Never forget this.

What you are about to read below ( Song For A Copout) is a chilling document because it`s completely real. It`s beyond shocking! Sadly this song originated in the slime filled sewer called Straight Incorporated. One of Straight`s toxic tools used to brainwash the kids in group was to make them sing all these different cult songs 7 days a week where they were constantly glorifying and praising Straight to the max. In this nutty song below Straight is doing the exact same thing to brainwash the parents as well by using music in a twisted way, making them sing cult songs where they are endlessly exalting and honoring Straight. Straight mind raped the entire family. Nobody was safe or off limits from the terrifying tentacles of Straight. This amateurish song ( Song For A Copout) clearly illustrates how brainwashed and toxic the parents were. It`s a sick and sad example of how Straight Incorporated damaged, destroyed and ruined numerous families by turning parents against their very own children. It`s enough to make you vomit several times over and over and over again. This is just so over the top. Just beyond the pale. This is beyond crazy. It`s nuts! This Straight dad is more washed then The Atlantic Ocean. I just can`t keep a straight face whenever I read this. No pun intended. The Straight parents actually used to sing this mind numbing garbage in parent raps. Music to become depressed by. It`s just to much. Whoever ever wrote this crap was more washed then 1,000 laundromats. This is the most bizarre document from Straight that I have ever read. They used to pass fliers of this mind-rot around at those nutty parent raps. If I were the son of this Straight parent I would most definitely be crying buckets of tears and rightfully so. I would be crying my eyes out because my dad was so badly brainwashed that he would not only put pen to paper and wrote this crazy propaganda but that he also believes in it 110%. If this isn`t a pathetic and poisonous guilt trip then I don`t know what is. Whoever wrote this song had way to much time on their hands. This is one Straight Dad who needs to keep his day job. No future in the music industry for this clown. Have a seat, Dad!

For years the indoctrinated (and clueless) Straight parents had their bogus battle cry in SONG FOR A COPOUT. Well, now all the liberated copouts/survivors have their very own song as well. It`s a modern day, freedom ballad called ” SONG FOR A WASHED STRAIGHT PARENT.” I have included it at the very bottom of this writing. It`s true it`s not Shakespeare by any means. Nevertheless, it provides a long, overdue, effective counterbalance,counterweight and fresh alternative to the outdated tune, “Song For A Copout.” The more I read “Song For A Washed Straight Parent” the more I like it. I hope you like it as well.

A Clockwork Orange Chris



Don`t cry for me, my wayward son–
I`ve done the best I can…
To show you love, to ease the pain,
to help you become a man.
We`ve talked it through so many times.
your mother,you and I.
To solve the hurts,the pains the woes
so you`d not have to cry.

Mom needs no tears,from you,
she`s done all that she could.
To guide your way from dark to light,
she thought you understood.
She gave you her soul to save your life,
She longed to see you shine.
We praised the Lord when you pulled through
We thought that all was fine.

Your sister watched you grow with Life; your brother learned the way…
They worked through feelings deep inside,
and thoughts from yesterday.
And from their fears and sorrows the “straight-life” helped them through
They found new meaning for their lives,
and held a Joy for you.

We all learned to cope with life,
but somehow you went wrong.
You ran away and took our love,
but we,still here,stayed strong.
Our strength it grew in spite of you,
that you do have our love.

So now you see the tears are yours,
my lonely wayward son.
The pain`s unleashed for you to feel,
the healing`s been undone.
But take this thought wherever you go,
it`s something we all share.
Life oh so much bearable,
with those who truly love and care.




Yes my wayward father I cry so deeply for you,
Tears of sadness and rage for your brainwashed state.
Straight has duped you,mislead you and filled you with hate.
No, you haven`t done the best you can,
Your loyalty to Straight proves you have fallen hard for their sham and scam.

Yes I insist on crying for mom as well,
She has been equally deceived by this venomous snake pit of Hell.
My way has been guided from darkness to light,
My escape from Straight is my proudest flight.

Sadly you have also involved my brother and sister in this Family Tragedy,
Hopefully one day they will awaken from their brainwashed misery.
This new “straight-life” you brag about is nothing but crap,
Hopefully one day all of you will see Straight is a razor sharp,steel trap.
If you ever come to realize that Straight deceived and lied,
The hot and fresh pot of “waking up coffee” smells and tastes great on the other side.

Straight Incorporated never met a bank account it didn`t like.
You`re so brainwashed you laughed this off as being funny,
The ice cold reality is all Straight cares about is your money.
Money is Straight`s drug and Straight is the biggest junkie on the Planet.
You keep talking about life,love and pain,
With Straight Incorporated you are all throwing your lives,money and sanity down the drain.

The pain was unleashed for me to feel every second I spent at Straight.
The pain was released for me once I made my heroic copout escape.
I make no apologies and I have no regrets
I have a beautiful new Life now on which the Golden Sun now sets.

My eyes are wide open,my mind and conscience are crystal clear,
With Straight now out of my Life I no longer live daily in fear.
Since copping out from Straight I no longer live amongst the dead,
My future looks very bright as I look confidently ahead.

Don`t worry about me for my new life is good and I am fine,
My new sweet freedom gives me plenty of reasons to shine.
Straight Incorporated is now a dark nightmare from the past,
I hold my head up high because I am free at last.

My wayward father by siding with Straight, you are on the wrong side of history,
All of us who have escaped from that gutter know this is no mystery.
The tears I now shed are tears of freedom and joy,
After copping out I`m no longer a prisoner for Straight to indoctrinate,torture and destroy.
The thought I take with me wherever I go I will proudly share now with you,
No more wasted days for me rotting away endlessly inside that toxic human zoo.

—Your free as a bird, copped out SON